Here Goes Everything

Do my habits support my goals?

It seems to me we all have a story for why we are not where we want to be in life. What story have you convinced yourself of that is keeping you from forming habits that will help you achieve your goals? For me, not long ago, it was my busy schedule. I had convinced myself, as a mom of 4 active kids, working full time that I couldn't possibly find time to write, workout, find a more fulfilling job, cook healthier meals, get the laundry done etc. Our lives are made of stories and the most important ones are the ones we tell ourselves on a daily basis.. I will never be able to run a 5k, I am not smart enough for the job of my dreams, I don't have time to write, I will never feel comfortable in my own skin, I can start eating better tomorrow.. If you cannot relate at all to the idea of self defeating speak I would suggest you not continue reading. You either have it all together or you are not open minded enough to hear the hard truths that are still to come.

If not now, when? haven't we all heard the saying

"It's now or never" "We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are" "Change your thoughts and change the world" Here are just a few sayings that we have all read, pinned, posted and upon reading these we convinced ourselves that this time, we really were ready. The truth is some of us were and yet still the larger group is reading this and wishing that they had already started their transformation. For me, it's a journey I will always be on, a bunch of little leaps that ultimately form the life I have always dreamed of, with the added benefit of reality which makes the dream all the more worth living.

Are you happy?

This is it. This is our one guaranteed opportunity to choose happiness. To put ourselves out there and stretch our limits. We don't have any certain timeline on life so if we are to have dreams that we wish to fulfill the time is now to stop simply wishing and move on with the doing. The time is now to find those extra minutes, to prioritize your happiness and to find what fills you up.

Here Goes Everything!

For me happiness is found in giving, and helping others. I have also been gifted with an ability to sell just about anything, you name it I could likely find a way to sell it. Recently I realized happiness in my career wasn't sitting at a cubicle taking orders while longingly staring out the window. I knew that someday, when the time was right, and when I was ready, my gifts would be able to serve a greater good. If I am going to spend more time at work than with my family I WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE. In less than two weeks, after over a decade in sales I will start working for a local Non Profit. I AM PETRIFIED. What happens if I am not good at fund raising? What if I don't bring in enough money to help people to be fed, get the proper dental care, have clothing to make it through the long cold/wet winter? There it is again the self defeating stories we tell ourselves. With a little prayer I will shake it off, pull my shoulders back and lay my heart out there, and with determination and love I will take on this challenge. Failure isn't an option, for the only true failure is in never having tried. I do believe my mother has said this more times than I can count. So, Here goes everything. Wish me luck.. and please take your own leap, even a small one. There is greater regret in never having tried, of this I am certain!

What kind of Bear is he? Not a dying one!

If someone told me they went on their honeymoon with their 4 kids to Missouri to spend time with a man named "Bear" I am not so sure I would believe them. However crazy this may sound it is indeed my truth. Talk about a way to start married life right? Before we were even through the airport this conversation ensued:

Airport security person: "Where are you traveling to?"
Claire: "Um... Kansas?"
Airport security person: "Who are these people to you?"
Zac: "Good?"

Surprisingly these answers were met with a nod as we moved right along on our trip that can only be described as eventful. The flight went smoothly, we were even told by the stewardess, or should I say flight attendant.. that our children were very well behaved, I can't lie, upon hearing this I felt a little bit like Mom of the Year. However, upon arrival the humidity hit in full force, a wall of wet heat like nothing I have ever experienced before, bringing me down from my internal high. Visions of icy cold margarita's danced in my head...

I would tell you about all of the stress and drama that came with getting a rental van but instead I think I shall move right along to the place where I met my husband's "dying" father,  "Bear" (this is after all, why we are on a honeymoon with 4 kids in Missouri in the first place.) For a dying man Bear was quite spry, I do believe he sprang up to greet me when we arrived, a glass of whiskey sweating in the hot summer sun and a dachshund happily yipping at his feet. Somehow they both seemed immune to the sweltering heat. As I greeted him, it dawned on me that this man was not only NOT dying but he was slightly buzzed and witty to boot. Somehow this revelation didn't surprise me, his moniker alone led me to believe this may be the case. So, with an internal sigh I settled in with hopes of being offered a cold beverage of my own. I was not disappointed..

On this trip we managed to successfully visit 4 cemeteries, move a 100 year old outhouse, eat weinerschnitzel, decorate cookies, get bitten by chiggers and my very favorite part, see fire flies! They truly are magical and a must see for everyone. Go now, and put this on your bucket list, while you're at it write a note to self: don't walk barefooted in the woods in Missouri.

As disappointing as it was to find out we had been swindled by my father-in-law, who as I mentioned turned out to be a Bear not near the brink of death. I wholeheartedly enjoyed meeting the man who helped bring the most amazing man, whom I now call husband, into my life. His intelligence, humor and tell it like it is mentality was simultaneously refreshing and frightening. The trip was ultimately a success and I do believe I have earned a true honeymoon to boot. I mean, I did assist in moving a porta potty, and a used one at that!

If My Driveway Could Talk

Her poncho was a vibrant pink and her feet were bare as she slammed the solid wood door behind her. She stepped out into the cold air, her feet left marks in the snow and quickly her toes changed to match the poncho that lightly blew in the winter breeze. A quick turn, a few strides and she was back inside. I grabbed her boots and handed them to her begging her not to run away but she was quickly back out the door and across the yard, all the while spewing anger and discontent. Claire is my step daughter and she has never run away and this brief jaunt only lasted about 10 minutes, but for me as a parent it was petrifying none the less. This marks one of the moments that my driveway has been privy to. It has also witnessed my husband, shirtless and shoeless (this is typical) walking out to hand me steaming hot coffee and eggs made only the way he can. With a kiss and a smile I leave for work every day in this exact manner, and I do believe it will never get old. This driveway has also experienced a woman swerving and screaming atop her bicycle,  as our vicious 11 lb. cockapoo barks in her general direction with malicious intent of course, leaving this poor woman "afraid for her life." More importantly this very same slab of concrete was witness to the revelation that our 12 year old son believed when said cockapoo was fixed that her entire vagina had certainly been removed. At this point I should explain that very often our family discussions occur in the driveway. My husband works very hard as a gym owner (more on that later) and when he gets home he can often count on being greeted by myself, our dogs and our children as well. He is a hot commodity. Emphasis on the hot, in my opinion. These greetings can end with him shirtless stretched out in the driveway with any number of us by his side recalling the events of our day. The one thing I can say for certain is this, if our driveway could talk I do believe it would say that we are an emotional, crazy, funny, close knit family with an abundance of energy and love for each other. We have our moments where running away seems the only answer but we also have the hot coffee, steamy kisses that somehow manage to balance it all out. You throw in a little vagina-less dog talk and all of the bases are covered.