What kind of Bear is he? Not a dying one!

If someone told me they went on their honeymoon with their 4 kids to Missouri to spend time with a man named "Bear" I am not so sure I would believe them. However crazy this may sound it is indeed my truth. Talk about a way to start married life right? Before we were even through the airport this conversation ensued:

Airport security person: "Where are you traveling to?"
Claire: "Um... Kansas?"
Airport security person: "Who are these people to you?"
Zac: "Good?"

Surprisingly these answers were met with a nod as we moved right along on our trip that can only be described as eventful. The flight went smoothly, we were even told by the stewardess, or should I say flight attendant.. that our children were very well behaved, I can't lie, upon hearing this I felt a little bit like Mom of the Year. However, upon arrival the humidity hit in full force, a wall of wet heat like nothing I have ever experienced before, bringing me down from my internal high. Visions of icy cold margarita's danced in my head...

I would tell you about all of the stress and drama that came with getting a rental van but instead I think I shall move right along to the place where I met my husband's "dying" father,  "Bear" (this is after all, why we are on a honeymoon with 4 kids in Missouri in the first place.) For a dying man Bear was quite spry, I do believe he sprang up to greet me when we arrived, a glass of whiskey sweating in the hot summer sun and a dachshund happily yipping at his feet. Somehow they both seemed immune to the sweltering heat. As I greeted him, it dawned on me that this man was not only NOT dying but he was slightly buzzed and witty to boot. Somehow this revelation didn't surprise me, his moniker alone led me to believe this may be the case. So, with an internal sigh I settled in with hopes of being offered a cold beverage of my own. I was not disappointed..

On this trip we managed to successfully visit 4 cemeteries, move a 100 year old outhouse, eat weinerschnitzel, decorate cookies, get bitten by chiggers and my very favorite part, see fire flies! They truly are magical and a must see for everyone. Go now, and put this on your bucket list, while you're at it write a note to self: don't walk barefooted in the woods in Missouri.

As disappointing as it was to find out we had been swindled by my father-in-law, who as I mentioned turned out to be a Bear not near the brink of death. I wholeheartedly enjoyed meeting the man who helped bring the most amazing man, whom I now call husband, into my life. His intelligence, humor and tell it like it is mentality was simultaneously refreshing and frightening. The trip was ultimately a success and I do believe I have earned a true honeymoon to boot. I mean, I did assist in moving a porta potty, and a used one at that!